Ok, ok, I've been really terrible about updating. Whoops. Sorry. I'm sure you're all very curious about the goings-on of my life (OK, maybe not) but instead, because I can think of nothing more interesting to talk about, I'm going to tell you about three recent dreams. Maybe you can tell me what they mean, or figure out the goings-on of my life from them. I don't know.

Anyway:

Dream #1: I'm in a class with the professor who taught my screenwriting class senior year of college. This professor was the kind who at first seemed kind of funny, sort of like a wannabe Conan O'Brian, but quickly proved he was a total ass who enjoyed telling long stories that made class run way, way over its allotted time. Anyway.

This professor, whose name I don't recall at ALL anymore, is teaching, except it's some kind of environmental studies class. And there's this rock that has blue paint on it, and everyone in the class must spend two weeks with this rock, carefully measuring the water level of the rain on this rock. We have one of those composition books with the speckles on the front to log this all in, and everyone seems to take turns. But then it's my week to bring the rock in and I've lost it and panic. I'm goign to make up my results, except, I realize, nobody will believe my fake results if I say I've lost the rock I've been tracking dutifully every day.

But THEN, I realize that the whole point of this experiment was not to track the weather but an exercise in demonstrating the scientific method, etc. Because all of our logs are completely useless: we've all been putting the rock wherever the hell we felt like it, not in the same place, so it's not the same. And a lot of people have just been making up their results anyway. So it's all completely UN-scientific, and I feel very clever for figuring this out before anyone else.

When I wake up, I realize I'm annoyed, mostly because if my screenwriting professor DID teach a science class, that's probably the kind of stupid, time-wasting demonstration he'd do.

Dream #2: I don't remember how this dream started, only that it ended with a heated debate over whether or not Britney Spears is trashy. Somehow, the woman I was arguing with (not anyone from my life -- just a semi-faceless Generic Woman) was twisting things so that I was unpatriotic for calling Britney trashy. For some reason, this totally enraged me and I started throwing globs of grossy mac & cheese at her while screaming obscenities. I woke up when I actually screamed out loud words that I will not reproduce here, but just know it's a very strong insult and I have NO idea why I was so upset.

Dream #3: I am in a prison of some sort. There is another prisoner there who sort of resembles the Jolly Green Giant, except he is blue and not wearing a loin cloth, I think. I'm strangely attracted to him. I think we might be superheroes, too. Anyway, we escape from this prison place and head off on the biggest plane I have ever seen. I allude my captors by using my superpowers to make myself appear very ugly, because in this dream, I am some kind of very beautiful semi-superhero. At the end of the movie, a very tall little girl dressed in a blue outfit is arguing with the prison gaurds that she is NOT the guy they are after, but then she tries playing four square and they are so impressed with her athletic ability they do not believe her.

*

So there you have it. I am crazy.