To the Angry Young Woman Who Needlessly Yelled at Me While Trying to Walk Up the Wrong Side of the Subway Stairs Yesterday:

I imagine you probably had a bad day. I had a rather annoying afternoon myself. I imagine you were probably also in a hurry. I understand that, too. I understand that you are probably so very, very important that you do not think you should have to stay on the right side of the stairway with everybody else.

Maybe you're an organ courier and had to get to the hospital in a very great hurry? But I didn't see you carrying any cooler, and I don't think organ transplant centers rely on the MTA to get hearts, lungs and kidneys about in a rush. So, really, there was no obvious reason you needed to get up the steps as fast as humanly possible.

In fact, you were not going as fast as humanly possible -- you were going up the steps at a normal pace -- essentially the same pace as everyone else climbing the stairs. Except they were doing so on the RIGHT side of the stairs. And you, Oh Angry One, could not possibly walk on the right side, even though it would have gotten you out of the subway in just about the same amount of time without interfering with those wishing to go down to the platform. No, no, no: you are so special that you have to walk up on the left.

Look, I understand that sometimes there are times when maybe it's acceptable for the people heading upstairs to fill the entire staircase. For example, I know that exiting at the 33rd street station on in the morning can be really, really annoying, especially since one of the staircases apparently disintegrated or imploded or did whatever it is a staircase might do that would render it unusable for a few weeks until the MTA has repaired it. There are always herds of people trying to make their way through the woefully inadequate upright turnstiles (whatever those cage-like whirlabout things are called) and usually, an alarm is sounding because some resourceful person has opened the emergency door, allowing more people to stream through at once. It's chaotic and totally annoying and there are maybe 200 people trying to fit up the narrow staircase at once. Then, I kind of think it's OK if people walk on the right and left simultaneously, because even then, it takes quite a while for everyone to get out of there and I have to imagine it's a bit of a fire hazard. Those few straggling passengers trying to get down the stairs would really be much better served to walk half a block north and enter via the considerably more ample entrance at 33rd street.

But yesterday afternoon as you exited the 6 train, there were not hundreds of people trying to get up those steps with you. There were maybe half a dozen. And ALL of them, except for you, stuck to the right side of the staircase. Because they are considerate.

What I am getting at is that you did not have to yell at me. You did not have to shout "I'm trying to get up the stairs, get out of my way!" And when I helpfully replied "Well, usually in this country, we go on the right side--" you did not need to cut me off and say "No! No "usually"! You should learn to be considerate!"

Because, really, I think your actions demonstrate just who needs to learn her manners.

I wanted to say a lot more to you on this subject (also on other subjects, such as how people can't just decide to drive on the left because they think the other cars on the road should be more "considerate", and also how you are a fat cow) but you walked off rather quickly.

I'm going to assume that my formidable bitchiness scared you off; that the 5'4" white girl in the pink coat was really too intimidating to behold. Also, I'm going to assume you realized you were wrong, and scuttled off in shame.

That's OK. Realizing you are wrong is part of the learning process. But don't get in my way again, bitch.

Love,
Caroline